How to Write Messages that Get Replies: 2 Easy Steps


A good first message is easy to write when you know what kind of message girls want to get.

Girls want you to do two things:

1)  Notice what we have in common.
2)  Start a conversation about it.

Unfortunately, most guys don’t do this.  They send lazy, clueless messages, like “heyy cutie whats up?” and “I love that pic of you in Cancun ;)” 

That’s your competition.  Those guys have set the bar really low for you to stand out in a girl’s inbox. 

To surpass them, all you need to do is make an effort.  And because girls’ expectations have been lowered, you can quickly and easily show that effort.

Here’s a message I received that quickly and easily makes an effort:


This message works because he does 3 things:

1)  Based on my profile, he establishes we have something in common: the band The National.

2)  He gives me an easy way to continue the conversation, by asking a question: have I heard their new album? 

3)  He gives me a reason to want to continue the conversation: it’s a topic I enjoy, one of my favorite bands. 

BONUS:  He likes a band that I love, so I can tell he has excellent taste in music!  Another vote in his favor.

All it took was three short sentences for this guy to stand out in my inbox. 

It probably took him two minutes to write.  But compared to the lazy “heyy let me know if u want to chat” messages I get all the time, I’m downright grateful for his effort. 

I read those three sentences, and I’m thinking, Thank fuck.  Finally a guy who knows how to talk to a girl.  And…Reply.

Here are more ways to get a girl’s attention with a good first message. 



Write First Messages that Actually Get You Dates!

Take control of your online dating results with this 40-page eBook from MenAskEm!

- 15 Specific Prompts for What to Say
- 35 Message Examples You Can Send Today
- 50 Tips to Stand Out & Initiate Conversation