Why Smart Guys Learn the Rules for Online Dating


You may think online dating is as simple as posting a decent profile picture, writing an accurate self-summary, and then waiting for the ladies to flock to you. 

This guy definitely thought so:


Let’s call this guy Jon.  By just filling out a bare minimum of information, Jon’s breaking two of the most important online dating rules:

1) He doesn’t show his personality.
2) He doesn’t help me find any common ground. 

I can’t tell what Jon likes to do on the weekends, or what’s on his iPod when he’s working out, or what kind of food he likes.  He doesn’t even mention his major.  We don’t really have anything to talk about, because I can’t tell if we have anything in common.

Even if Jon’s pictures are cute, he’s pushing girls away by not sharing more detail about who he is and what he’s into.  Sure, I could ask him about his major or what kind of music he likes…but why waste my time on a boring guy when there are other guys I’m excited to talk to?

Jon’s profile is empty and I’ll bet his inbox is empty, too.

But this won’t happen to you. 

Because you’re interesting and funny and unique – and your online dating profile is going to reflect that. 

When the right girl comes to your profile, she’s going to be looking for someone like you. 

And she’ll immediately see that you’re the awesome guy she’s looking for, because your profile is going to specifically highlight those traits.

To make this a reality, you need to learn the basic online dating rules that get you results.


There are certain dating “rules” already established:  

  • Don’t text her two seconds after the first date. 

  • Do offer to pay for dinner if you want to make it a “real” date.  

  • Don’t get rape-y when she drinks too much.

These still apply to online dating.  (Especially the rape-y one.*) 

But there are additional rules, too.  Because online dating introduces a new, more complicated stage of dating, all before you even meet the girl.

Here’s a few of the online dating rules you’ll need to know:

  • Your online dating profile needs to be a conversation-starter

  • Shirtless profile pictures are bad (and so are these common profile pics)

  • More girls will reply to your messages when you use this formula

  • Stop messaging a girl if she’s doing this (don’t get played!)

  • Girls want you to ask them out by saying this

  • Bad grammar can make a girl think you’re bad in bed (seriously)

Learn these rules, work them to your advantage, and you’ll definitely be getting some first dates.

For example:

How could Jon make his online dating profile a conversation-starter? 

He just needs to talk more specifically about his favorite things. 

He should look at the facts he’s written, and then ask himself, “Why? What? How?”

For example: Why does he like working out?  Is he training for an Iron Man competition?  Does it help with school stress?  What is his major?  Why did he pick it?  How does he put a smile on people’s faces? 

When you ask why/what/how, those questions get to the bottom of the general, surface-level words that come out when we try to describe ourselves – like “easy going” and “fun loving.”  When a guy’s true personality and interests stand out, it gives girls something to relate to and shows us what we can talk about. 

Starting a conversation is key in online dating. 

Answering why/what/how is all it would take for me to see that Jon’s the introspective, kettlebell-ing, environmental science major I’m suddenly dying to meet.  

Lots of guys like Jon fail because they don’t stand out.  They don’t learn the online dating rules and can’t work those rules to their advantage. 

But you’re going to stand out right off the bat. 

It’s gonna be…


Want to know if your profile plays by the rules?  I’ll let you know if any part of your profile is in the danger zone, and specifically how to get it back on track. 

* Reading a girl’s profile and exchanging messages before meeting can make it seem like you’ve known someone for longer than you have. Some guys feel this false sense of familiarity and, after a couple drinks, think they’ve put in the time to get more than just a first kiss.  Not classy, not okay.